Louis And His Pills
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Louis loves pills more than anything. But what happens when he takes it to the extreme...?
1. Chapter 1

Louis And His Pills

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Grabbin' peelz.

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Valve.

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"Pills..."

Pills was the one true thing Louis loved. He would snatch every single pill he could get. And when he did, it was one hell of a ride for him.

Then came the one night, where Louis went crazy.

Bill was on a special mission. He only brought Louis because Louis was the only sane member of the group. After shooting down several zombies, the two came across a Boomer, who was belching loudly. Bill hid behind the corner, reading a grenade as he spat out his cigarette.

"All right, Louis. Cover me while I take care of business." Bill whispered as he leapt from the gray wall, screaming as he tossed the grenade at the Boomer.

The Boomer blubbered as the grenade made contact with his fat ass, causing him to explode out guts and such. Luckily, Bill ran back behind the wall, preventing the green slime hitting him. He sighed as he wiped his forehead, having cleared the scene.

"Well, that was a close one," Bill stated as he took out another cigaratte, placing it in his mouth as he turned to his left. "All right, Louis, let's go-" However, he dropped his cigaratte as he witnessed Louis biting the cap of the pills he had found.

"Pills. They're my precious..." Louis muttered in a calm voice as he noticed Bill looking at him. He growled angrily as he barked at Bill, warning him to stay away from his pills.

Bill slapped his forehead as he groaned. "Damn it, Louis, what have I told you about pills? They'll rot your damn brain..." He stopped as he noticed several Hunters surrounding them. Bill readied his gun, taking aim as the five Hunters snarled at the two men. "Cover yourself, Louis. This is gonna be ugly."

Louis, however, was too busy having an affair with his pills to even notice. Or care.


	2. Chapter 2

Bill fought off the six hunters with ease as Lills he had, not letting go of it, not one bit. However, as one Hunter sneaked by the ground, he swiped Louis, causing him to fall. Louis screamed, but he was more worried about the pills, which was rolling away towards the west, into the sewers.

"PILLS!" Louis exclaimed as he pushed the Hunter off of him, dashing right after the pills and grabbing on tightly to them. He kissed the container of pills many times, thankful as they were in his hands again, although he found himself crashing in a dirty, zombie infested sewer.

Bill managed to kill off the remaining Hunters, laughing as he taunted them. "Ha! Betcha can't survie even one day in Vietnam!" He then turned around, shocked to not see Louis. "Huh? Louis? Where the hell did ya go?"

As Bill looked around for Louis up above, Louis was killing off the zombies that approached him, breaking them apart with ease as he would defend his precious pills to the very end.

"Get your dirty hands off mah pills!" Louis proclaimed as he kicked serious ass.


	3. Chapter 3

By now, Louis's badassery has destroyed many of the zombies in the sewer. As Louis used his kick to knock down several Hunters, he tightly hugged his pills as he gently rubbed it, ensuring that things would be okay. Louis looked up, to see Bill poking his head down in the sewer.

"Hey Hercules, you all right down there?" Bill asked as he placed in yet another fucking cigarette in his mouth. "You nearly gave me a shock back there."

Louis laughed as he waved at Bill, pointing at his pills. "I'm doing great, Bill! Just looks at my pills!" He rhymed as he made a hilarious face.

Suddenly, two Koopa Football Players appeared out of nowhere, and under the control of Waluigi, tackled into Louis. They snatched the pills, heading deeper into the sewers. Louis screamed in rage as he pulled out a revolver, shooting at the Koopa Football Players as he chased them.

Bill slapped his forehead as he jumped down into the sewers, injuring his right hip as he went after Louis, but was surrounded by a Boomer, a Witch, several Smokers and Hunters. Bill swallowed his cigaratte as he readied his shot gun, preparing himself to take on the shit storm of zombies as Louis continued chasing after his precious pills.


End file.
